The Costume Switch

The tale of the last-minute costume switch

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

For all the parents who have experienced a costume switcher—maybe it was Halloweens of the past, maybe it was this weekend or maybe it will happen to you this week—I get it, it can be frustrating. You spent money or time on the selected costume. There was the anticipation, the build-up, and then the switch. The hesitant voice of your child saying “No, I don’t think I am going to wear that.” Seriously!?! Yes, seriously. I know this childhood tale well, because I was a notorious costume switcher.

Every year there was a lot of discussion of the costume in the beginning of October or even earlier. Remember it was the “olden days” so no Amazon to deliver a costume the next day. We had to actually plan ahead. Order from a catalog and wait the weeks for arrival or go to the craft store in person and get the materials. I remember one year in particular having a very clear conversation with my mother about a doctor costume. I was adamant it was the one. We ordered it from a catalog and when it arrived it was fine. Slowly over the coming weeks I fell out of love with that costume. It was not Halloween enough, it would be too mundane to simply be a member of the medical field. I increasingly knew in my heart it would not work. I started to voice this hesitation in the days leading up to the big night. “Ummm mom, I don’t know if I want to wear that costume.” I still remember the long, deep sigh from my mother. I had heard it before; she didn’t need to say any words. All I could hear was the deafening disappointment. She said “okay, well what are you going to wear then?” Eventually I landed on a black polyester slip dress with a ragged hem from the bottom of my costume box, put on some “zombie” makeup and called myself a dead witch. This costume was on repeat for several years. Always as the default after purchasing or making another costume selection. Each year determined to accept a new costume but ultimately it was always the familiar witch that won.

Even though an investment had already been made, my mother did her best to accommodate the last-minute change in plans. She put aside the time and money already invested in one costume and perhaps the pride in her creative costume design. Now I have costume switchers in my house, or maybe not switchers as much as costume ditchers. More often than not there is some sensory component that needs to be dealt with. This year during our trip to the costume store, my preschooler simply elected not to purchase a costume. At first, I went into parent autopilot where it felt like having a costume was really important. I felt he needed a costume because people will ask what him what he is going to be and then what will he answer? He might feel left out while trick-or-treating being the only one not wearing a costume. But these aren’t really problems. He was being true to himself, and he was saving us money. He didn’t make us buy an obligatory costume only to have it dismissed in the last moment. He told us what he needed and we moved on. Well, kind of, apparently, he needed a sword too. So, yes we bought sword. Sometimes kids are so much cooler than us adults. It’s cool, they know what they need. We just need to listen. As an adult, I view my mother’s deep sigh differently than I did as a child. I am not sure that she knew she was doing it, but she would breathe it in—the frustration, the time, and whatever else was on her plate that moment. And she would let it out in a deep sigh and then she let me be me. I did what I needed for myself. A need was voiced and it was met. For those that have costume switchers (or ditchers) this Halloween, it will be okay.

Now as an adult, I wear the same costume every year. It’s just easier that way. And it’s a witch.

Photo by Bee Felten-Leidel on Unsplash