💬A Thread of Care-Full Stories 💬
A thread to share books, movies, and shows that are full of caring relationships
I recently read The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry* by Gabrielle Zevin, which I loved. I won’t get into the details if you want to check it out, but the main character, A.J. Fikry, is a widower struggling in many ways. He unexpectedly finds himself caring for a young child, and as one can imagine, this has a significant impact on him.
This is not an unfamiliar storyline—someone a little lost or maybe a little flawed finds themselves through atypical circumstances flung into the throes of caring for a child. And through caring for another, their life changes, the child’s life changes and the adult changes1. These stories are not perfect but in an extreme form, they capture how caring for others can change people. Hollywood does this well, and often with humor. You may recall some of these stories like:
Baby Boom (1987) with Diane Keaton
Three Men and A Baby (1987) with Tom Selleck
Big Daddy (1999) with Adam Sandler
Life As We Know It (2010) with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel
The relationship facilitates transformation. The rigid embrace flexibility. The ambitious investigate their priorities. The unambitious discover that they do have goals. Even robots are not immune to the transformational power of care. It’s impressive stuff—what caring relationships can do, and that deserves curiosity. It’s what author
captures in her book When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others*.But it doesn’t need to be a matter of full-time guardianship or wacky over-the-top circumstances (although these make for good entertainment). There are stories of unlikely babysitters who are influenced by their role in caring for others. One of my kids’ favorite movies is The Pacifier (2005) with Vin Diesel(this movie is over-the-top wacky circumstances). Sorry, Vin, this is not a good movie but once again, we find an adult rigid in his ways who ultimately finds that taking care of kids teaches him a few things about life. I am curious about more tales like these—relationships of care outside of the parent and child. Don’t get me wrong, I love parent stories. I love exploring their complexity and in May, A Wonderful Mess will bring a complicated mothers-in-fiction reading collection. Today’s thread however is about other types of relationships full of caring, different opportunities for transformation, the ways young people can influence others, and the ways other people can nurture children and teens.
Share in the comments books, movies, and TV shows that capture stories of the power of relationships with children outside of the parent-child relationship. All genres have potential. Think about stories of:
Aunts and uncles
Grandparents
Babysitters
Coaches
Teachers
Neighbors
How does a thread work? All you have to do is comment. You can share one book, a movie, or many…
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What will I do with these stories?
Not sure yet, but I’ve got some really small and really big ideas…so let’s crowdsource some great stories.
And…
Check out this recent conversation between
of What Do We Do Now That We’re Here? and of The Auntie Bulletin. It’s such a wonderful conversation about caring for “other people’s people.”
*I am an affiliate of bookshop.org, if you purchase through this link I will earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you)
As always—Just a little reminder: The content on A Wonderful Mess posted by Dr. Kathryn Barbash, PsyD, is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for medical, clinical, legal, or professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information provided is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your licensed mental health professional or other qualified health provider.
I really, really liked these stories as a kid. I was weirdly obsessed with babies.
Share books, movies, and TV shows that capture stories of the power of relationships with children outside of the parent-child relationship. All genres have potential. Think about stories of:
Aunts and uncles
Grandparents
Babysitters
Coaches
Teachers
Neighbors
Ooh, this is fun. Off the top of my head (all geared toward kids, of course):
MIGHTY DUCKS! For reasons that don't matter, my husband and I just looked at the synopsis, and I had completely forgotten that Gordon Bombay was assigned to coach youth hockey as community service for a DUI.
Slightly different -- Miss Honey finds family in Matilda, and vice versa. She didn't need to become responsible, but she did learn that she was worthy of family and happiness!
Similar to Matilda/Miss Honey is Kate O'Shaughnessey's middle grade LASAGNA MEANS I LOVE YOU. Joe and Carlota thought they'd never heal from the loss of their infant daughter, but then Mo enters their lives!
You already mentioned it, but THE WILD ROBOT, of course!
The graphic memoir SUNSHINE by Jarrett J. Krosoczka tells the story about the impact of his time as a counselor at a summer camp for terminally ill children and their families.