This is why we need more parenting perspective from people with older kids. No one is more obsessive or anxious than first-time moms whose kids are 0-3. My kids are only 7, 7, and 5, but I still sense a huge decrease in anxiety among my friends. The baby years are so stressful! We need the biiiiig picture perspective to tone that down.
Yes, perspective is so important. I have found it curious the amount of parenting influencers who have young kids and speak with so much confidence (likely in some cases as a response to anxiety). I've often thought-oh no, you are still too in it.
Thanks for sharing this! I think it’s really helpful to hear all of this and I hope more parents hear (sooner than later) that there aren’t always clear, easy solutions but we can try our best and find some joy.
Thank you, Kathryn and Emily! I think about this stuff a lot, too. I wish that parenting (and teaching, too, honestly) experts would lean into the nuance a little more. But it's hard! I feel like in my own work I probably come off as too wishy-washy because I'm like, "Well, this could work, or you could do that, or you could do neither, but whatever works for you!" and it's not because of lack of knowledge or even my desire to people please! It's because there ARE lots of good options, and there are so many factors at work. Because we're talking about humans. I imagine as psychologists it's not crazy different. But a lot of people just want to be told what to do, and I suppose that's often what sells, even if it leaves the grownups feeling defeated in the end. Bah! Anyways, all of this is to say: I appreciate both of you and your work!
Thank you so much for this! I agree that people love the appeal of simplicity, even if it's an illusion. Unfortunately, our culture of instant gratification and quick fixes only make it harder to convey more nuanced (and accurate) info.
We need more of this content in the world! We aren’t screwing up our kids or negatively impacting our relationships when we try our best, revisit our mistakes, and model kindness (with some boundaries)! Thanks for reminding us that we are doing just fine.
This was fantastic! Validates a lot of what I’ve been thinking and feeling. I’m writing a piece along the same topic and I’ll be sharing this piece!
Thank you Sri, I knew that Emily was the person I wanted to talk about this! Can't wait to read your piece.
This is why we need more parenting perspective from people with older kids. No one is more obsessive or anxious than first-time moms whose kids are 0-3. My kids are only 7, 7, and 5, but I still sense a huge decrease in anxiety among my friends. The baby years are so stressful! We need the biiiiig picture perspective to tone that down.
Yes, perspective is so important. I have found it curious the amount of parenting influencers who have young kids and speak with so much confidence (likely in some cases as a response to anxiety). I've often thought-oh no, you are still too in it.
Same!
Thanks for sharing this! I think it’s really helpful to hear all of this and I hope more parents hear (sooner than later) that there aren’t always clear, easy solutions but we can try our best and find some joy.
Thank you, Anna. Yes to the joy, it's possible!
Thank you Anna!
Thank you, Kathryn and Emily! I think about this stuff a lot, too. I wish that parenting (and teaching, too, honestly) experts would lean into the nuance a little more. But it's hard! I feel like in my own work I probably come off as too wishy-washy because I'm like, "Well, this could work, or you could do that, or you could do neither, but whatever works for you!" and it's not because of lack of knowledge or even my desire to people please! It's because there ARE lots of good options, and there are so many factors at work. Because we're talking about humans. I imagine as psychologists it's not crazy different. But a lot of people just want to be told what to do, and I suppose that's often what sells, even if it leaves the grownups feeling defeated in the end. Bah! Anyways, all of this is to say: I appreciate both of you and your work!
Thank you Clarkie and I think wishy-washy is great, flexibility is key.
Thank you so much for this! I agree that people love the appeal of simplicity, even if it's an illusion. Unfortunately, our culture of instant gratification and quick fixes only make it harder to convey more nuanced (and accurate) info.
Loved this conversation between two extremely thoughtful parenting experts!
Thank you Yael!
I clicked on & read this post b/c of the title & was thrilled to see it featured @EmilyEdlynn!
I am a big fan of Emily's work and knew she would be great to talk to about this. And always nice to know when a headline is doing it's job!
Wonderful interview! Dr. Edylnn's work is so excellent, and I very much appreciate her thoughts on the parenting advice industry.
We need more of this content in the world! We aren’t screwing up our kids or negatively impacting our relationships when we try our best, revisit our mistakes, and model kindness (with some boundaries)! Thanks for reminding us that we are doing just fine.
Thanks Vanessa! I totally agree!