Mainly in April I feel caught in the middle of two factions. Allistic (or presumed allistic) parents of autistic children (often self-styled as ‘autism parents’), and autistic non-parents. The latter often very angry at the former, and usually understandably so, sometimes because they’re triggered by them, with memories of their own childhoods and how they were parented. The former angry at the latter because they can’t see what their child (this is often especially the case if the child is non-speaking) has in common with these ‘angry’ adults.
And I, as an autistic parent - as in, I am autistic and I am a parent - to an autistic child - my youngest is autistic - feel caught up in the centre of these arguments. To an extent, I can see both sides. I do indeed, as an autistic adult, find parts of the the ‘autism parent’ stuff quite gross, but I can also see - as a parent to an autistic child myself - how parents are often crying out for support, sometimes using the wrong terminology, sometimes even using triggering terms, but many genuinely do want the very best for their kids, they really do want to change the world rather than their child. I see a lot of people hurting and unfortunately see some people harming as a result.
And I feel caught up in it. I wonder if many other autistic parents (as opposed to ‘autism parents’) feel similarly.
Ruth, it feels so complicated and I agree there is a lot of division in the space. As an allistic parent to an autistic child, I have learned so much from autistic voices and I struggle with a lot of the autism parent discourse too AND I have been a professional that has worked with families who are struggling to process their child's autism identification and sometimes are led astray by other voices. It's all so complex. I really appreciate you sharing your experience.
Awareness, acceptance, appreciation, empowerment, advocacy. I didn't realize that the process we went through when our girls were diagnosed with ADHD had a format, but that was it. Thanks for the framework. I've noted it for my reflections!
Thank you for using a wonderful analogy of a traveler —one that anyone can understand and “get.” I’ve learned so much from our interview and the insights you shared today. I think I have a lot of learning to do and I am so glad there are so many great resources (you being one of them) available to me!
Thank you so much, Kathryn. Another reader commented on the traveler metaphor you beautifully described at the beginning, and I just wanted to second that I found that so powerful. I am a parent of a son with Down syndrome, and this offered another layer of insight to see my son's world. I am hopeful it serves as a relatable way to describe to other travelers without the specific lived experience what it's like.
Thank you for sharing. I feel so strongly this is part of the value of having space for people to share their stories--because we often can find connection.
Love your "weirdness like a badge of honor!" We view our home similarly--it's a safe place and we make accommodations at home that allow our kids to have the internal resources to navigate the outside world.
Mainly in April I feel caught in the middle of two factions. Allistic (or presumed allistic) parents of autistic children (often self-styled as ‘autism parents’), and autistic non-parents. The latter often very angry at the former, and usually understandably so, sometimes because they’re triggered by them, with memories of their own childhoods and how they were parented. The former angry at the latter because they can’t see what their child (this is often especially the case if the child is non-speaking) has in common with these ‘angry’ adults.
And I, as an autistic parent - as in, I am autistic and I am a parent - to an autistic child - my youngest is autistic - feel caught up in the centre of these arguments. To an extent, I can see both sides. I do indeed, as an autistic adult, find parts of the the ‘autism parent’ stuff quite gross, but I can also see - as a parent to an autistic child myself - how parents are often crying out for support, sometimes using the wrong terminology, sometimes even using triggering terms, but many genuinely do want the very best for their kids, they really do want to change the world rather than their child. I see a lot of people hurting and unfortunately see some people harming as a result.
And I feel caught up in it. I wonder if many other autistic parents (as opposed to ‘autism parents’) feel similarly.
Ruth, it feels so complicated and I agree there is a lot of division in the space. As an allistic parent to an autistic child, I have learned so much from autistic voices and I struggle with a lot of the autism parent discourse too AND I have been a professional that has worked with families who are struggling to process their child's autism identification and sometimes are led astray by other voices. It's all so complex. I really appreciate you sharing your experience.
Awareness, acceptance, appreciation, empowerment, advocacy. I didn't realize that the process we went through when our girls were diagnosed with ADHD had a format, but that was it. Thanks for the framework. I've noted it for my reflections!
Yes, I love the framework from Autism Level UP, it is really helpful.
Thank you for using a wonderful analogy of a traveler —one that anyone can understand and “get.” I’ve learned so much from our interview and the insights you shared today. I think I have a lot of learning to do and I am so glad there are so many great resources (you being one of them) available to me!
Thank you so much Sri, it means a lot. And I am continuing to learn, so I certainly appreciate others interested in learning too.
Thank you so much, Kathryn. Another reader commented on the traveler metaphor you beautifully described at the beginning, and I just wanted to second that I found that so powerful. I am a parent of a son with Down syndrome, and this offered another layer of insight to see my son's world. I am hopeful it serves as a relatable way to describe to other travelers without the specific lived experience what it's like.
Thank you so much Emily. I am so glad you connected with it.
Thank you for sharing. I feel so strongly this is part of the value of having space for people to share their stories--because we often can find connection.
Love your "weirdness like a badge of honor!" We view our home similarly--it's a safe place and we make accommodations at home that allow our kids to have the internal resources to navigate the outside world.