A Summer Manifesto of Sorts
A declaration from me to you
It’s summer in my home. All the kids are out of school, there is traveling, camps, hanging at the pool, and the fielding of “I’m bored” seventy times a day. It makes sense to write about summer and parenthood, because that’s what we do here in A Wonderful Mess. But how to frame it?
A survival guide? No. I am hoping to aim higher than survival.
Ways to thrive this summer? No. Let’s be real, there are going to be some tears this summer, mine and the kids. Thriving feels aspirationally empty.
Goals for summer? No. That sounds too work-y, like meeting our sales numbers for the season.
A manifesto is where I’ve settled. A manifesto is a declaration of intentions, motives, and views. And it's also fun to say. I encourage you to make your own, it feels very empowering.
There will be laughter
I’ve always been a “you have to laugh or you’re going to cry” person. And for the record, there is nothing wrong with crying, but I like to laugh more. I am that person who makes jokes when things are hard, for better or worse. It’s just how I am wired. Looking at our everyday adventures, there is usually something to laugh about if I am open to it. For instance, back in spring, a huge storm knocked out power for a week in our area (not funny). On the day after the storm, I was with the kids (because schools were closed, also not funny), searching for food. Luckily, the mall with all the fast food restaurants near us had power, so we got in line at the good old Golden Arches. The demand for McDonald’s was high, given that most people had no electricity. We ordered and then waited and waited and waited some more. You need a visual for this. See below.
The desire for a Big Mac was too much for the traffic pattern. After ten minutes, someone gave up and got out of line, which allowed this fast food version of Tetris to move forward. We laughed the whole time. We needed to laugh. I wish for you all that you have your drive-thru traffic jams when you need them. All you have to do is remember to notice and be open enough to laugh.
There will be stepping back
Another school year has passed, and beyond all that classroom learning, a lot of life learning has occurred. Summer is a great time to continue to experiment with the kids, taking on new things without the stress of the school year. So we will be taking a half step back here and there. Why a half step? It would make sense to say they will take on XYZ tasks or responsibilities, but one of the many things learned by having neurodivergent kids is that this is not a linear enterprise. Early in parenthood, I was inclined towards practices that support independence and autonomy. And I still agree with those ideas, but I also know they look different with kids who learn differently. Often, with kids who are neurodivergent, more time and more scaffolding are needed. It takes patience, creativity, and intentionality. If anyone else is looking to experiment this summer, you can find a downloadable handout here. Once you start to think about smaller steps versus whole categories of tasks, it’s easy to make a list of possible experiments.
I am also thinking about being intentional in language as we navigate new things. I often come back to this handy little book*.
There will be tidying up
It’s been a year. The adults in the house have had their fair share of health issues, but we are feeling better these days. Being in a state of healing and raising kids, we put some things aside in terms of house management (with good reason). But now we need to reset and tidy up a bit. Plus, we find ourselves with another year passed, new interests, clothes that are too small, and different phases, so it’s time to do some decluttering and organizing. I LOVE to organize, but I found myself needing a little inspiration to get started, so I am looking to
, Tyler Moore, and his book* for ideas.
Awe will be sought
Recently, I re-posted this essay on awe. Can we ever get enough wonder and awe? I don’t think so. I can’t wait to dig into this new one* from
. Awe is a little like humor; if you have a willingness to discover it, it’s available in all kinds of places.
The expectation is imperfection
It’s easy to fall into the trap of declaring that this will be a __________ summer. The best, fun, relaxing, awesome, memorable, there are many words I could put in there. But I am going with the realistic—this will be an imperfect summer. There will be highs and lows and a lot of in between.
Oh…and I am going to read a lot of books
But you probably guessed that. I made a rule that I am not going to buy any new books, reading only the ones in my possession or already downloaded on my Kindle. We will see how I do.
Long live the imperfect summer! In true fashion of this post, yesterday I did a bunch of prep tasks to help the week move smoothly after returning from a week away and before starting our first week of summer camp. I was all set to start out right! And then the power went out in the middle of the night which disrupted the youngest and meant she called for us every 20 minutes for a couple of hours in the wee hours of the morning. Exhausted and without power I woke up this morning, skipped my morning workout, and was contemplating having to throw out a totally full fridge of food when the power came back on. I'll find a laugh in there later today...
Oh this is a good manifesto! I think I need to draw up one too and will probably heavily borrow from yours. You always bring such thoughtful balance to the table!